Why is Pramod Muthalik ecstatic?

If there is one person who has not experienced even an iota of the current recession's impact, it is Sri Ram Sena's promoter and CEO Mr. Pramod Muthalik. Ever since his gang carried out the act of beating women in a Mangalore's pub for maligning the country's "sanskriti" (culture), Mr. Muthalik has been seeing a flurry of job offers coming his way.

One state has offered him the job of Police Chief as "moral policing" is one of his core strengths. "I am already a qualified IPS (Inko Peeto Sabko) of 1978 batch", says a beaming Mr. Muthalik. Unconfirmed sources have also reported fierce competition being on between MNS and Shiv Sena to woo Mr. Muthalik as they see a lot of strategic fit and synergy of work culture with Ram Sena.

While other organizations are queueing to get him to join them, one Mumbai based mafia conglomerate called "Mumbhais" have demanded him to head their extortion business. They are willing to absorb all employees of Sri Ram Sena too. Mr. Muthalik has not acquiesced to their demand yet as he is also contemplating a comparative offer from a major foreign bank to head their "recovery agent" arm. As if this problem of plenty was not enough - an automobiles company is also in the race to win him over as they expect to gain major benefits from his expertise in gaining political "mileage"

Since suddenly attaining this celebrity status in the media, Mr. Muthalik has constantly been in the interviews. Some reporter asked him who gave him the authority to decide what is right and wrong, is he the government, military or what - Mr. Muthalik responded that he is a "citizen" of this country. That response finally came as a relief to all those adult men and women who were beaten by Sri Ram Sena for drinking beer in a pub that has been legalized by the government.

Mr. Muthalik was asked the question if behavior of his people was humane but he dismissed that question as irrelevant. "If you read Indian history, you'll know that Ram Sena has never had any humans".

When asked why does his organization focus on petty issues when there are bigger troubles like terrorism in the country. "We are not commandos or military, we are just moral police. Anyway, I do not want to comment on terrorists as they are in a related business and my opinion will be misinterpreted in the media", said Mr. Muthalik.

"I want youth to learn the spirit of 'rang de basanti' and these people are enjoying spirits in a pub, promoting  'mug de basanti'', concluded Mr. Muthalik.

Food for thought: It would have been funny if it wasn't pathetic